Beware the wrath of your patrons, snippy restaurant staff

July 20, 2012

Oh, how I heart social media and the modern world for giving voice to the little people who previously had to marvel at the world in relative silence. From watching Reddit’s astonishing coverage of of the horrible, horrible tragedy in Aurora, which GigaOm’s Mathew Ingram describes as no less than “the crowdsourced future of news” to a rather more banal story from my friend, the creative director and designer, Brian Collins, who had an unfortunate run-in with some snooty staff at New York restaurant, Westville. I’ll leave the rest to Brian’s own beautiful writing, which has spread rapidly via Facebook and garnered lots of promises from people not looking to try Westville’s BLT any time soon. Who knows if this will really have any impact on the restaurant’s popularity or success, but I wouldn’t be surprised, and I love that these mechanisms are now available to all of us. I tweeted this story earlier; the restaurant replied, “it would be helpful if someone would let us know what happened. We have no access to the link.” Your wish is my command, Westville. Here’s Brian:

OUR POLICY

I always look forward to seeing friends for Sunday brunch. Today we went to Westville, a popular place in Chelsea. Good food. A simple, well-designed, unpretentious place. Non-hip. I’ve been a few times recently and have enjoyed it.

After finishing a good BLT served up by a sharp waitress, another friend showed up. As one friend was leaving, I invited my other friend to join me for dessert.

NO WAY.

The headwaiter saw my friend sit down and quickly–and quite publicly–insisted that we both had to leave. He tried to boot out us of our seats.

“But I’d like to stay for dessert.”

“You are done.”

“But I’d like coffee. And dessert.”

“No. Your other friend left. You are done. That’s our policy.”

“You’re kicking us out? But I would like dessert. And my friend really would, too.”

“That’s our policy.”

I spoke to the manager.

“Can I have dessert?”

“No. Your friend left. You are done. That’s our policy.”

“I’m sorry. What’s your policy?”

“You were done. That’s our policy.”

“But I am not done. I haven’t had dessert. I’d like pie. It looks good.”

“But that’s not our policy. Your other friend left. You are done. That’s our policy.”

“You keep saying that that. But I am not done. She had to go. And my friend Dave is here. Now I’d like some dessert. So would he. Can’t we just do that? We won’t be long.”

“But that’s not our policy.”

“I got that. Here’s an idea: What about a policy where you say, ‘Fine. Stay and have dessert. But keep in mind our waiters make their money based on the number of tables they turn–and we have people waiting outside–so please move fast, okay? Here’s a nice piece of apple pie.'

Now that sounds like a good policy to me. Sounds better than the 'Get The Hell Out of Here, Now’ policy. And I promise leave my waitress a good tip.”

“But that’s not our policy. You are done.”

“Hmm. You keep saying that. You wouldn’t want to change your policy for fifteen minutes? That couple over there has been here for god knows how long.”

“They are not done. You are done. That’s our policy.”

“Yeah. I got that. Now, doesn’t this seem silly to you? You’re actually kicking us out?”

“You can go outside and get back in line. That’s our policy.”

“But it’s almost 90º outside. What’s the wait?”

“There are probably many people ahead of you.”

“And you won’t serve me dessert now? With my friend?”

“No. That’s not our policy.”

“So it’s 'go outside and get back in line’? Or leave?”

“That’s our policy.”

“Yes. You keep saying that."

I turned to my friend Dave. "Let’s go.”

On the way out, I said to the headwaiter, “your 'policy’ is funny. It will make for an interesting story.”

He snapped. “Write away. I really don’t care. Write what you want. We are VERY, VERY popular. Look.” He grandly waved his arm in the direction of the people waiting outside in the heat. “Get back in line if you want."

"Uh, no thank you."

There’s a point in the life of every successful business where immense popularity can tip a company’s behavior from confidence to arrogance.

In fact, sometime in the last few weeks it became this restaurant’s policy.

And no BLT is that good, frankly.